Selamlar 💐      Korona günlerinde birçok uzmanın kendi alanında çevrimiçi eğitim ve seminerler vermesi evde kalmayı büyük ölçüde kolaylaştırıyor ve hatta keyifli kılıyor. @anpsikoloji aracılığıyla @meltem_sunar hocanın çift terapisi üzerine anlattıkları da çok faydalı oldu. Ayrıca söylemeden geçemeyeceğim, bilgi ve tecrübeye hep çok saygı duyarım fakat bir de güzel tavır, üslup var ki bunlarla birleşince tabiri caizse harikulade oluyor. Meltem hocayı bu anlamda çok sevdim. Kendisine tekrar teşekkürlerimi sunuyorum.     Kimler okusun bu gönderiyi? Esasında muhatabı psikoloji alanındaki kişiler olan bu programın notlarını hem meslek arkadaşlarım hem de konuyla ilgili olan herkes okuyabilir. Bazı kısımlar teknik ile ilgili olsa da çoğu kısımdan ilgili herkes yarar görecektir.     Son olarak, programa zoom üzerinden telefonum ile katılıp bilgisayarımda da notlarımı yazdım. Konuşmalarla eş zamanlı not aldığım için metinde cümle düşüklükleri vb hatalar olabilir lütfen mazur görün.       S...
 Interviewing
Report
            NAME: Lavinia (pseudonym )                                   DATE OF BIRTH: 1995
 AGE: 22                                                                     DATE OF INTAKE: 30.10.17
INTAKE INTERVIEWER: Didem UZUN               DATE OF REPORT: 14.11.17
This
single-session clinical interview lasted about an hour and a half. It was
conducted in a room that was isolated from the factors that would interrupt the
flow of the interview. An informed consent has been signed to ensure the rights
of the counsellor and client and to agree in written form about the nature of
the counsel. As a general impression, the end of the meeting the two sides were
left by expressing their satisfaction to each other. 
            A 22-year-old young woman
volunteered for an interview. The participant is living together with her
family in Turkey, Ankara. She is a first-year undergraduate psychology student
in the same city. She is the only child, has no other sisters or brothers. Both
her mother and her father have an active business life. The socio-economic
status of her family meets normal standards. In this report, the volunteer
client will be referred to with the 'Lavinia' pseudonym in terms of
confidentiality. Initially, the volunteer did not mention a specific complaint.
The interview proceeded with the questions asked in the natural flow. From
the first minutes of the interview, a warm environment and therapeutic alliance
were provided and Lavinia began to tell some experiences and thoughts. So, I
could make some interpretations.
            The client had a well-groomed and
clean appearance. During the conversation she used a confident tone of voice
and had a straight body posture. Remarkably, she was opening and closing her
eyes too much during the interview. She had big, beautiful eyes. Lavinia stated
that she think the interviewing will be exciting for her. She seemed quite
enthusiastic in the matter of psychology. She constructs a strong cooperation
with me and seemed quite pleased throughout the interview. Moreover, I got the
impression that she was striving to keep his speech constantly in the logical
frame. She seemed to be in an unconscious insistence on feeling like it should
or thinking as it should.
            The interview started with the
question that is 'what motivated you to volunteer for this counselling?’. Upon
this, the client introduced herself as a friendly, smoothly individual and who
does not have a problem with communication. She opened a remarkable parenthesis
to this statement with 'but' and emphasized that these features are not enough
to establish particularly close relationships. Lavinia stated that she is in
harmony, intimate with almost everyone within certain boundaries, but refrain
herself from deeply friendship or emotional disclosure. She said, 'I have no
one to call my best friend’ and indicated that when she compare herself with
others, usually ask to herself or ask to people around her ‘Is it about a
problem with me?’.  However, she added
that this is a self-conscious choice rather than a problematic situation for
her. In this point, when I consider the whole of our interviewing, she often looks
the environment and sets some standards for herself as a result of these
observations. She then tends to self-assess in the frame of those standards she
identifies. 
Therefore,
it could be said that she is often inclined to self-evaluation. This tendency
usually results in self-feedback under the relative circumstances. As a result,
it seems that this attitude has become a habit, causing an increase in the
level of self-awareness of Lavinia. On the other hand, high self-awareness
probably brings with it self-critical thinking pattern. All these features will
actually be gathered under a single headline, as evidenced by the progressive
talks.
When
I asked ‘how long this choice had lasted?’, she told a memory that corresponds
to the last years of secondary school (ages 13-14). According to her, she was
in a group of four close friends in the middle school. She is a best friend
with particularly a girl who is in this group. But one day, while she talking
to a girl from outside the group, she accidentally revealed special information
about her closest friend. After this, her best friend ended her friendship by
badly insulting her although she thinks that she deserves a second chance. She
even asked people who were not very good with her, ‘Is she really unreliable person?’
Lavinia said she already knew herself, but confirmed it with this way. The need
to receive feedback is also attract attention here. She feels herself hard done
by her best friend. Ultimately, her experience seems to have profoundly
influenced her general view of human relationships. What is noteworthy is that
Lavinia, who is sure to never do the same 'mistake' again; she feared that
other people could make the same mistake against her. So she prefers not to be
'the best' with anyone. Eventually, I said in a questioning way that ‘Then it
seems to me that you do not give chance to other people now.’ After a while,
she told me that she had never thought this situation like this before. After a
bit of contemplation together on my interpretation, she defined her own
attitude as self-guaranteeing. Because, when she behaved like this, she restrains
herself to deep friendships, but she also protects herself from the possibility
of betrayal.
Later,
we talked about some girl and boyfriend experiences. To her, I directed the
question that ‘has anyone else seen you her/his best friend before?’ and she
answered with ‘Yes, there were few person.’ She talked about the intimate
friendships during high school which generally result with disappointment. According
to the conclusion that I got from all the memories she told, she actually came
to the stage of a deep relationship with some girlfriends and also boyfriends
during high school. But, I have observed that she has a tendency to negatively attribute
some unimportant events that are experienced with her friends. While she was
messing with a friend, her friend, who was messing with it, responded with a
slightly strange message. This seems to be a powerful reason for Lavinia to
label her friendship as questionable and even unfavourable. This is an good
example of a her negatively attribution style, because Lavinia prefers to
understand in such a way instead of associating with a bad day of her friend or
something else that is not relevant to her.
I
asked that ‘The same mistake you made against your best friend in middle
school, how would you react if someone else would repeat it against you now?’
and I added ‘but like yours, in an unintentional way, without bad intentions.’ In
brief, she said that if she had experienced such an event, she would not put an
end to her friendship, but she definitely would always be more cautious. She
emphasized too much cautiousness in her answer to this question. Although she
expressed that she deserves a second chance, In fact, she gives the girl right
who ends their friendship. I thought she blames herself for that situation in
middle school and she perceives that this ended friendship as a just punishment
in return for her mistake. Even, it has been almost five years since the event she
talked about, her memory still seems to be really alive. Because implicit past perception
of Lavinia like that, she act in the same way against the all friends in
present time. In addition, when I said this interpretation to Lavinia during the
interview, she also confirmed me. In other words, Lavinia, again sets standards
for her friendships (does not matter romantic relationships or girlfriends),
and the slightest perceived negative behaviour from counter party that could
cause deviation from the standards. Finally, she feels big disappointment. Because
of this, she also prefers self-guarantee attitudes in friendship relations. 
I
asked that ‘Should friendships be free from mistakes, or could people know each
other by making some mistakes?’, In the face of this question, she radically
protected her attitude and said that ‘Yes, there may be some mistakes. However,
after these mistakes, you must be cautious.’ On the way, I got the impression
that she had a tendency to think as black or white. She thought friendships,
friends' personalities, or what they did should either completely good or
completely bad.
The
last and important question is that "Which times do you need the a best
friend?", surprisingly, Lavinia react this question as ‘Wow, it is very
good question.’. She told me two significant experiences. First is that she was
very close to the explosion in March of 2016 in Guvenpark, Ankara. Second, she
had attacked by drug addicts while traveling on a car between cities with his
parents. Especially bad times, she said that she needed to
share something with a peer even though she has very close relationship with
her family. When she was in car travelling with her family at
night, her father parked the car and went to the toilet. Lavinia and her mother
slept on the car at that moment. It was interesting to me that she described
this phenomenon as the mistake of sleeping in the car. She talked about the
sleep problem in connection with these bad memories she had recently suffered.
After
these events, we built great consensus that she had a triggering role in his
sleeping problem. Lavinia was felt some kind of obligation about had to be on
the alert at every moment especially at nights because everybody was unguarded during
sleep. When we were talking about the feeling of constant vigilance and the sleep
problem, she declared that she checked everything at least three times while
sleeping at night or when she was going out of the house. For example, on the
list she controls, there are elements such as cooker, iron, electric sockets, door
lock, and windows. She had his own opinion that this
situation was related to his desire to guarantee something for himself. I think
this situation may be related to the request to control everything basically.
The inferences I have gained during our conversation with Lavinia seemed to be
gathered under a single heading, which is perfectionism. As evidence for this
generalization, much research has been done that reflects situation of Lavinia.
Several behavioural patterns and particular cognitive dispositions about
perfectionists were demonstrated in the literature. The following examples are
appropriate to perception pattern of Lavinia that occur; overgeneralization,
exaggeration of negativity and reduction of positivity, ignorance and
magnification, emotional reasoning, morality, labelling and personalization
(Barrow and Moore, 1983; Burns, 1980; Hamachek, 1978; Pacht, 1984).
As
a summary, the 'best friend' problem, which the client first mentioned, defined
the course of interview. In this framework, the concepts of reliability and
mistakes in friendships were dealt. Then, in the light of some traumatic
events, the client's sleep problem was talked. In relation to the whole of the
opinion about interview that the client’s high self-awareness, self-feedback
and self-assessment habit, request to control and black or white thinking
pattern were stressed. Moreover, client’s negative attribution style, need of
self-guarantee, and the desire of behaving according to certain standards and
finally her perfectionist personality traits were also emphasized. Almost
all comments were shared and agreed upon because the client regularly requested
for feedback within the interview. At such moments, Lavinia has often gladly
stated that she has obtained a new perspective for herself. She also mentioned
a few topics that she told me for the first time during this conversation.
Nevertheless, it is clear that the observations and inferences on this report
probably bring distress for her. It should be understood that the client is
voluntary for this interview; she is disturbed by these stress sources in her
some part of the life and wants to solve them.
In
addition to all this, when the client's daily life was examined, there was no
pathological finding that could cause serious disruptions for her. She
seems to be able to functionally manage her school and student-related tasks,
which are important for her daily life flow. However, given that she has a
social life other than a well-managed academic life. On this second side of
life, she seems not personally very satisfied. As it would be appropriate for
her situation, surveys have shown that perfectionist tendencies generally
reduce individual productivity and self-satisfaction, and hinder the
improvement of interpersonal relationships (Adderholt & Elliot, 1984;
Burns, 1980). However, as already mentioned, in the case of
Lavinia there is no specific pathological finding. So, treating her
perfectionism as a kind of personality disorder would be a very wrong
assessment. At this point, the notion of multidimensional perfectionism which
takes up considerable space in the literature will help. Many
personality theorists see certain dimensions of perfectionism as necessary and
healthy for the individual. For example, Adler (1956), states that
perfectionism is an innate motive and life is unimaginable without this effort.
This view shows that perfectionism is healthy and undisturbed when it comes to
the meaning of improving one's ability to maximize points. There are debates
about whether it is pathological or not, struggling to high standards. As
mentioned earlier, having too high, debilitating personal standards is accepted
as the only specific feature of perfectionism. Furthermore, Hamachek (1978)
specified two main perfectionism types that are normal and neurotic. Normal
perfectionism means that putting high at the same time logical, accessible and
possible standards. This harmless version even commented better for individuals
without excessiveness. Because struggling with the full extent of power allows
them to reach desired goals. However, neurotic perfectionism defined with
fantastic or unachievable aims and standards. These types of people have a
tendency for always criticize them. 
At
the end of the interview, Lavinia asked me for advice and interpretation.
So,
I asked her a final question. ‘If you are someone who is less anxious in the
matter of social integrations, a little more relaxed, moves without thinking
about what happens in the future and carries a less desire to self-guarantee;
what kind of differences do you have in your life?’ She briefly said that she could be happier, with
more deeply friends, more social activities. As a suggestion and
comment, I told her that these attitudes could not be seen as a problem to be
solved, and personal differences actually play a inclusionary
role in this phenomena. But, she himself has some discomfort about these issues.
Therefore, I suggested that she could try another way of life that is less cautious,
less anxious, less standardized. I stated that every close relationship
naturally carries some risks, but life is also the balance of this
benefit-loss.
References:Adderholt-Elliott, M. (1989). Perfectionism & underachievement. Gifted Child Today Magazine, 12(1), 19-21.Adler, A. (1956). Striving for superiority. The individual psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings, 101-125.Barrow, J. C., & Moore, C. A. (1983). Group interventions with perfectionistic thinking. Journal of Counseling & Development, 61(10), 612-615.Burns, D. D. (1980). The perfectionist’s script for self-defeat. Psychology today, 14(6), 34-52.Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior.Pacht, A. R. (1984). Reflections on perfection. American psychologist, 39(4), 386.

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